Post by tymm on May 13, 2010 11:20:47 GMT -5
Lately I've been feeling younger. Sure, there are many reminders in my daily life that remind me of time marching forward. Gray hairs in the beard, longer recovery time after injuries and hangovers, paying bills, paying fines; the list could go on. It's odd that even the unfolding events that should be making me feel older are having the opposite effect.
As some may know, I've been walking around more than usual. It's a result of failing to grow wiser with age. Still it places me squarely in the past. There was a time, even after I was licensed to drive, that I didn't have a car. It was between the ages of 18 - 20 (roughly). If I wanted something outside of my immediate surroundings I had to find a ride or walk to get it. It's not casual walking, or walking for exercise. It's walking with a purpose. I'm walking because I want something, and I have to walk there to get it. My plan is to walk purposefully as much as possible even after I get my driving privileges restored. It feels better than driving and it makes me 19-years-old again.
Recently, Rantel and Kayci dropped by and introduced me to their beautiful new baby boy. One's friends having children should make one feel older, shouldn't it? Seeing the baby instead make me think that it wasn't really all that long ago that my friend (and all of us for that matter) was that tiny and helpless. Even my friends with older kids, toddler through high school ages, make me feel young. No matter the age, the offspring brings me instantly back to when the parent was the same age. As kids get older, it should make me feel older, but it only makes me realize how recently removed I am from such tender years.
Joblessness too, should serve as a dreadful reminder that I've been in the game long enough to find, lose, and have to look for gainful employment. And to a degree it certainly does. However, in some cosmic way I'm also reliving a simpler and more carefree time. I'm not trying to make light of my situation or my current responsibilities. Not at all. They're constantly on my mind. But the plain truth is that I'm currently without employment. It's been a long time since that was the case. Sure, there have been a few times in the last 14 years or so that I've switched jobs and not really worked for a couple of weeks here and there. But it's been since high school that I've had this much time left to my own devices.
I've been trying to make the most of it. I've been getting quite a bit of yard work done and have really bonded with the dog. Thankfully my wonderful wife has the patience of a saint. She helps shave years off of my mental age too. I think we both know that we both have plenty of time to feel old. I'm just not ready to yet.
As some may know, I've been walking around more than usual. It's a result of failing to grow wiser with age. Still it places me squarely in the past. There was a time, even after I was licensed to drive, that I didn't have a car. It was between the ages of 18 - 20 (roughly). If I wanted something outside of my immediate surroundings I had to find a ride or walk to get it. It's not casual walking, or walking for exercise. It's walking with a purpose. I'm walking because I want something, and I have to walk there to get it. My plan is to walk purposefully as much as possible even after I get my driving privileges restored. It feels better than driving and it makes me 19-years-old again.
Recently, Rantel and Kayci dropped by and introduced me to their beautiful new baby boy. One's friends having children should make one feel older, shouldn't it? Seeing the baby instead make me think that it wasn't really all that long ago that my friend (and all of us for that matter) was that tiny and helpless. Even my friends with older kids, toddler through high school ages, make me feel young. No matter the age, the offspring brings me instantly back to when the parent was the same age. As kids get older, it should make me feel older, but it only makes me realize how recently removed I am from such tender years.
Joblessness too, should serve as a dreadful reminder that I've been in the game long enough to find, lose, and have to look for gainful employment. And to a degree it certainly does. However, in some cosmic way I'm also reliving a simpler and more carefree time. I'm not trying to make light of my situation or my current responsibilities. Not at all. They're constantly on my mind. But the plain truth is that I'm currently without employment. It's been a long time since that was the case. Sure, there have been a few times in the last 14 years or so that I've switched jobs and not really worked for a couple of weeks here and there. But it's been since high school that I've had this much time left to my own devices.
I've been trying to make the most of it. I've been getting quite a bit of yard work done and have really bonded with the dog. Thankfully my wonderful wife has the patience of a saint. She helps shave years off of my mental age too. I think we both know that we both have plenty of time to feel old. I'm just not ready to yet.