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Post by kat on Dec 9, 2005 17:29:50 GMT -5
OKAY
for all of you to know:
i did NOT mean that i want to experience other guys literally. sure i'm curious but who wouldn't be if they were still with the first person they fucked???!!!!
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Post by tori88 on Dec 9, 2005 19:53:44 GMT -5
Back in the day, being a whore was going against the grain. Nowadays, these youngsters, being conservative is going against the grain. It's hip to be square.
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Post by tymm on Dec 9, 2005 23:36:59 GMT -5
i'll tell you exactly what blathering about jesus has to do with whores...jesus was a huge fan of whores! it's true! dude hung out with all kinds of fucked up social outcasts. tax collectors and fisherman were considered to be low lifes back then too. and jeezy creezy took them as apostles. who wouldn't want to hang out with sluts who washed your feet with their hair. now days one would have to go to the Philippines or some other fucked up country to get a slut to wash your feet with her hair.
so ladies, the lesson here is simple. jesus wants you to be a whore!
the logic is simple. jesus loves to forgive. the more you fuck, the more there is to be forgiven. fuck all day, every day and you will be constantly forgiven. it'd be like being with jesus all the time.
some people think they just need to pray all the time to be close to jesus. fuck that. jesus was a straight up rabble rouser. rome ruled the known world and he was all up in their face, like, fuck you buddy! the jewish religion had already been around for a thousand years or so and he was like, fuck you too! jc loved controversy. he'd probably be bored with all these praying cocksuckers. get ta fuckin' and give the lord some work to do.
so who would jesus hang out with if he/she came back today (cause i think the next time around he'll be a bitch)? well, first and foremost - whores! probably fast food workers and pay-day loan managers. pool sharks, gamblers, and islamic extremists. oh, and those people who come to your door to sell you steaks, magazines, internet solutions, vacuum cleaners, and whatever the fuck else those pushy cocksuckers are trying to hock. after all, every good religion needs good sales people. otherwise there would be no religion.
christianity nowadays is all about morals and staying a virgin til your married and shit. fuck that hard. i say it needs to get back to it's roots and let the sluts in. honestly, i think OPDubs fan base has more in common with the original christians than any bible-waving dumb fuck in church today. that is to say jesus loves all the whores and low-lifes dancing their asses off to Morning Cigarette, getting drunk, and fucking when they get home a hell of alot more than those boring cocksuckers in some fucked up church. not to say there aren't some decent folk who show up at the shows too. but fuck the decent folk too.
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Post by blueboy on Dec 10, 2005 13:46:45 GMT -5
You know what you don't you don't see too much of anymore? WWJD bracelets. People should start wearing those again. And then jump off of a cliff.
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Post by tori88 on Dec 10, 2005 15:50:40 GMT -5
I think we may be overlooking what the true meanings of the words "whore" and "conservative" are. A whore has so many meanings that it is hard to define. I think you can be a whore and still be a good person. I also think that being a whore means you are using your "skills" to get what you want/need out of the person on the receiving end of your whoreness. Be it love or attention or crack or money, it's still using someone. But being conservative is not exactly a nun either, (I do have to admit that the word brings about nightmares of republicans and the right wing fucks of the country burning forests and hunting whooping cranes, but that's just me). I think that the word conservative should be looked at by the root word - conserve - meaning to horde or to store away. Its like a show, being put on to mask the true self beneath the staunch following and blind faith in societal norms and rules. I don't know if hiding the most basic parts of you (conservative) or using someone to gain something you want/need (whores) is worse than the other, both are flaws in my eyes.
And as always, no animals were hurt in the production of this reply.
Thank you and good day.
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Post by diane on Dec 11, 2005 11:54:34 GMT -5
christianity nowadays is all about morals and staying a virgin til your married and shit. i don't think that one rambling catholic should get to be the voice of all christianity. having never been catholic, i must have never received my guilt microchip, so maybe i'm wrong about a lot of things, but still. as for sex before marriage, i thought that if you were with the person that you truly thought you were going to be with (i guess implying marriage/life partnership) that sex was okay, marriage license or not, and that was the bottom line in the b-i-b-l-e. they don't teach the kids that in catechism class, of course, but its in the fine print. well, i don't know about the rest of you out there, but i truly thought i was meant to be with each and every one of them...even that register clerk at the seven eleven in georgia who, ah, helped me out when i couldn't pay for the gasoline i had pumped one dark night...religion and morals is all about the spin you put on it, and what you are capable of convincing yourself of. some of you said that its hard to be a girl (that's what the oracle told me) but i think that most of us are pretty darn good at convincing ourselves of just about anything... I do have to admit that the word brings about nightmares of republicans and the right wing fucks of the country burning forests and hunting whooping cranes, but that's just me). i feel that i should mention here that i once took part in a secret covert operation to shoot a crane. i don't know if it whooped or not, but it was a crane, none the less. i was in charge of video surveillance. the crane did not in fact get shot, but that was the motive. so, while my conscience is perfectly clear with regards to that clerk at the seven elven, this attempted murder is what i am probably going to burn in hell for, unless i can come up with a really, really good spin... (now that i've mentioned that seven eleven guy twice, i am worried that some of you might start to think its true. and, you know, with all of the whore/conservative stuff flying around as of late, i really, really don't want you to get the wrong idea about me. well, just like a real preacher, i think it is okay to make things up to embellish a story and help get the message across. besides, do you guys really think i would have a one-nighter with a seven eleven worker? please. it was a quick trip station.)
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Post by tymm on Dec 11, 2005 22:34:52 GMT -5
christianity nowadays is all about morals and staying a virgin til your married and shit. i don't think that one rambling catholic should get to be the voice of all christianity. ahem,....that's recovering catholic to you. the catholic church is the only REAL christian religion anyway. everybody already knows how the church feels about sex before marriage. i was talking more specifically about the brain washers with southern accents making kids sign contracts stating they'll remain virgins til they're married. i saw this documentary on the LINK tv network about it. they basically make these kids think their immortal souls are doomed forever if they do anything that's gonna make 'em feel good. then they gave these kids rings to wear to remind them not to fuck. now don't get me wrong, i think most white people are so lame that they probably shouldn't fuck and reproduce for the good of humanity, but we're talking about horny kids here. they need to explore. once they figure out how bad they are at it, they'll probably want to stop doing it anyway...NOT! the only encouraging thing about that show was that out of all the kids they got to sign those contracts and wear those rings, 80-85% of them broke it within a year. cuz fuckin's alot better than some dumb ass ring!
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Post by tymm on Dec 12, 2005 9:24:03 GMT -5
before i never post in this thread again, let me just make one thing clear, once and for all:
Jesus is just alright with me, Jesus is just alright, oh yeah do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do
Well, Jesus, he's my friend.
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Post by diane on Dec 12, 2005 9:48:26 GMT -5
not? that's even worse than "duh"
i should apologize. i didn't realize that you were talking about the "true love waits" freaks. true love waits to find out his/her spouse sucks in bed...that must make for quite an exciting honeymoon, not to mention the rest of the married life. you know i roomed with a girl in college who didn't have sex with her fiance until after they were married, and then she didn't really like it. she also wrote in her journal about the people from dawson's creek like they were real, and said that she wished she could take her beanie babies to her wedding. (i didn't read it first, another girl we lived with did--i'm trustworthy--hoenst) she had all sorts of crazy issues. i think that i've only met two people in real life who were waiting until they were married, oh, and one girl i used to know who said she was waiting until college...they were all weird as hell...
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Post by tslave484 on Dec 13, 2005 22:15:21 GMT -5
Although the original topic/thread has digressed quickly to “whores and tattoos” which are undoubtedly more universal topics; (however, not something I’d expect to find under a heading with “Jesus” in it), I’d like to make some comments on the first couple of postings. I don’t know who the original author is of the essay that was posted but I’ll borrow some words from Diana to describe him and his essay, “offensive and dead-wrong”. This author should have considered perhaps reading the Bible and educating himself on the topic before writing this piece on why “CRUCIFIXIONS AREN’T SO BAD”. Its one thing to have opinions, but he has stated some blatant fallacies, which I feel the need to point out. “It’s interesting how Christians like to talk about how terrible the crucifixion of Jesus was." It was “terrible”. For those of you against the death penalty, try chewing on this for awhile. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crucifixion“If it wasn’t for his crucifixion, Christianity would never have gotten so popular; it would be reduced to “weird” status like with the Mormons or Mennonites. Jesus’ crucifixion was a godsend for the Christian faith.””“Jesus’ crucifixion was a godsend for the Christian faith.” – I agree, that it was a Godsend, but don’t stop there, His death, burial and resurrection validated that He was God and is the reason why there is “Christian Faith”. Jesus didn’t just help popularize Christianity. He is Christianity. “He was killed during his prime. If Jesus were to live a long life until the age of 80 or so, his message would have become stale and diluted.”I have to say that is the most ignorant and presumptuous thing I have ever heard in my life. That’s like saying Shakespeare would have been more popular if he would have written fewer poems. You’re talking about someone who miraculously healed and raised people from the dead, and preached a message that is still giving hope and encouragement to people today. Note: Mother Theresa helped the sick, dying and unwanted around the world for 45 years. Did her message get stale and diluted?? “His death created the most recognizable image in the world. Without the image of him hanging from the cross, how do you expect the church to push the propaganda? Plus I can only imagine how many millions in cross sales the church profits from every year. It’s the oldest souvenir in the world.”Let me be the first to say that I disagree adamantly with selling cross relics or anyone gaining profit from Christianity. The bible itself speaks against it. A cross relic in and of it self is nothing. Keep in mind that the Bible teaches that Jesus did not stay dead, but rose again to life after three days. So its kind of taking a step backwards in keeping Him dead. It’s His sacrifice and his victory over death that we remember. “Every Christmas you should celebrate JC’s death, for without it your religion would be seen a little differently”Well, first of all, its Jesus’ birth that is celebrated on Christmas, not His death. And Christmas itself is a Catholic invention. (Those Catholic’s like their relics and celebrations) Its not even Jesus’ birthday, it’s the birthday of “Semiramis” or often referred to as “Ra” the pagan sun god, and the Catholic’s figured they’d just switch them out. And as far a Jesus’ death is concerned, Christians remember it as Jesus instructed us to. We remember that He came into this world with the purpose of dying for our sins and saving us from hell. And that He overcame death so we can be free. 1 Corinthians 15:5 Where O death is thy sting? Where O grave is thy victory? But thanks be to God who has given us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
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Post by triumph on Dec 13, 2005 22:15:56 GMT -5
Chreestianitee. Real nice reeligeeon. What now...some 2000 years and counting. You know what makes it even better? All the deeferent sects. Catholeeks, Lutherans, Bapteests, Methodeests, Born Agains, etc. All the more eediots for me to Poop on!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by diane on Dec 14, 2005 10:03:01 GMT -5
the original author is some guy out in d.c. but i'm not sure i even know his real name. he writes ALL KINDS of stuff, and i read it pretty regularly, because i find it entertaining...and, to be entirely fair, i believe what i said about it was that "some of it" "could be seen as" offensive and that "some of it" was "dead wrong". when i said that, i meant his essays in general, including, but not exclusive to, the two i posted in this thread. and, just so you know, i think i was more thinking of the "whore" essay, but, hey, if you find it all offensive and dead wrong, more power to ya, sailor, but i worry what else you might find here offensive. don't get me wrong, i love the prospect of some new blood on here posting up a storm (not to mention smart blood at that) but some of it you have to take with a grain of salt. which is why, as i stated earlier way back in the beginning, that i don't think these essays are in any way to be taken seriously, and i think they are, at most, tounge-in-cheek...
Main Entry: tongue-in-cheek Function: adjective : characterized by insincerity, irony, or whimsical exaggeration (if yours is more of a kinesthetic intelligence [see: dr. howard gardner, the love of my undergrad life] come to the tall show at mississippi nights on saturday and i will stick my tongue in your cheek)
again, i don't know the original author personally, but i'd bet that this guy could school both of us in biblical knowledge. or at least it wouldn't surprise me. he doesn't usually tread into waters where the tide can quickly turn and make him look stupid. he's got some pretty sharp and insightful critics, so he doesn't seem to put himself in that position, really.
i don't want to go over everything you said with a fine toothed comb, but wasn't there christianity before jesus came on down? you said he didn't popularize it, he was it, so does that mean there wasn't any before him? i don't know. that old testament is there for something, i'm sure...and as for the most ignorant and presumptuous thing you've ever heard in your life, don't go anywhere, somebody here is bound to steal that honor licketysplit. as for the 'ole crucifix, there are gobs floating around. maybe i don't understand exactly what you were saying, but of all the crosses i've ever had in my possession, i know somebody bought them from somewhere....lets see, i bought a rosary in the vatican city, that had a crucifix on it, i got bunches of crosses when i was baptized, and then more when i was confirmed, but the one that really stands out when i read some of this is the one that i got at the church service celebrating my class's eight grade graduation...it was a cross fashioned out of steel nails, the nails to be a reminder of the nails through christ's palms, and the whole deal to be a reminder of the sacrifice that god, jesus, heck the whole trinity, made for us. yes, we learned that he rose again. yes, we know that he conquered death. but, it seemed, what they really wanted us to remember, at least right then, was the sacrifice that had been made. i so feel like i am splitting hairs here, but if having crucifixes is wrong, i guess everyone involved in my entire christian upbringing is in the dark. but, i digress, you can think any old thing you want, and so can i, and i'm sure our self proclaimed agnostics are just eating this up. kudos to you for your thoughts, really, oh, and for your biblical quote. here are some that i like...
"Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven" i think that's in luke, please correct me if i'm wrong...and...
"He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone." and that's, ah, john, i think (my catechism teacher would be so disappointed in me, or, maybe not, since he is the bastard that gave me the wicked crucifix made from nails...put your tongue in your cheek right about now)
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Post by tori88 on Dec 14, 2005 18:03:10 GMT -5
can you hear the self proclaimed agnostics laughing... cuz we're totally laughing. P.S. Diane, I like the way you talk. Wanna make out... kidding... tongue n cheek.
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Post by diane on Dec 14, 2005 18:21:48 GMT -5
are you kidding me? me and you, we can make out any time...
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Post by tori88 on Dec 14, 2005 18:23:48 GMT -5
oh sugar don't get me started. you're going to give triumph a tube of red lipstick if you know what i mean.
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Post by triumph on Dec 14, 2005 19:52:48 GMT -5
Leepsteek? Don't geet you started? Why don't you want to get started? Are you afraid you'll have to Poop?
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Post by meatwad on Dec 15, 2005 2:26:05 GMT -5
i think they should start selling more buddy christ's instead of the crucifix cause jesus looks alot happier
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Post by meatwad on Dec 19, 2005 12:49:30 GMT -5
i think i would make a good pope. what do you think?
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Post by diane on Dec 19, 2005 12:52:19 GMT -5
you would definately be my favorite pope, that's for sure...
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Post by meatwad on Dec 19, 2005 12:57:09 GMT -5
for my first motion communion would be meat flavored kind of like beef jerky
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